NAME THE BREACH BEFORE CHOOSING THE RESPONSE.
The central question
What happens when words and actions separate?
The problem
After a breach, people may minimise it, generalise it to every aspect of the relationship or demand an immediate return to normal. None of these reactions establishes what happened or what response is appropriate.
The insight
Distinguish a misunderstanding, a capability failure, an avoidable broken promise and deliberate deception. These are practical categories for examination, not diagnoses. Assess evidence, impact, repetition and the person’s response before deciding what trust remains justified.
A practical example
A colleague shares a confidential document. The affected person establishes what was shared, with whom and whether further disclosure can be limited. The response then addresses the actual harm and the conditions required before sensitive work resumes.
ONE decision
Pause the affected reliance and establish the facts before restoring it.
TOP 3 actions
- Describe the specific commitment and the observed breach without unsupported accusations.
- Assess the impact and take reasonable steps to limit further harm.
- Decide what responsibility can continue, what must pause and what evidence is needed next.
30-day result
Within 30 days, document the facts established, containment steps completed and responsibilities changed. Do not treat a quick apology as proof that trust is restored.
Your reflection
Am I reacting to the evidence, or to an assumption about the person’s intentions?
Action checklist
Use a factual account: “We agreed ___. What happened was ___. The impact was ___. Before we continue, I need ___.” If facts are disputed, record the uncertainty rather than presenting inference as certainty.
PASS: the commitment is clear, feasible and verifiable. REVIEW: remove the one obstacle preventing delivery before adding more rules.
Put the complete system into practice
Get all ten episodes, the Trust Decision Canvas and the 30-day Action Guide in the HUMAN AND TRUST PowerBook – €29.
PowerLicense for organisations
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RapidKnowHow® — One decision. One action. One proof.