REPAIR REQUIRES CHANGED BEHAVIOUR OVER TIME.
The central question
What evidence makes renewed trust reasonable?
The problem
An apology can be necessary but insufficient. Pressuring the affected person to forgive, promising too much or insisting that the past is finished can undermine a repair attempt.
The insight
Repair requires acknowledging the breach, accepting responsibility for the part you caused, addressing harm where possible and changing the conditions that allowed it. The affected person decides whether renewed trust is appropriate. Restoration may be partial, gradual or unavailable.
A practical example
A supplier repeatedly missed agreed updates. It acknowledges the failures, provides a named contact and tests a weekly reporting routine for a limited period. The customer reviews actual delivery before increasing reliance.
ONE decision
Offer one specific repair commitment that can be observed and reviewed.
TOP 3 actions
- Acknowledge what happened and its impact without shifting responsibility.
- Agree a feasible corrective action and a limited review period.
- Demonstrate the change consistently; let the affected person assess whether reliance should increase.
30-day result
During 30 days, track delivery of repair commitments and any repeated breach. Ask whether the agreed conditions for a next step have been met; do not promise full restoration by a fixed date.
Your reflection
Am I trying to repair the harm, or only to regain my reputation quickly?
Action checklist
Prepare a repair proposal: acknowledgement, practical remedy, prevention change, review date and evidence. Allow the other person to decline or request a different boundary. Repair cannot be imposed.
PASS: the commitment is clear, feasible and verifiable. REVIEW: remove the one obstacle preventing delivery before adding more rules.
Put the complete system into practice
Get all ten episodes, the Trust Decision Canvas and the 30-day Action Guide in the HUMAN AND TRUST PowerBook – €29.
PowerLicense for organisations
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